The CU is not a Meat Market, it's a Delicatessen Part 1- Why You Should Marry

Many CUs are at pains to point out that they're not a meat market or have an atmosphere akin to that view. Whilst having good intentions this view is damaging.

The most of major Biblical characters were married: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon; I could continue. Significant exceptions to this would obviously be Jesus and Paul. Even given these notable exceptions the Bible is laced with familial language- Israel as Mother, the Church as Christ's Bride (marriage is a picture of Christ's love for the Church), God the Father and God the Son. Further, before the fall God says "it is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18) indicating for marriage to be the norm. If it wasn't the norm then this would contradict God's command to "be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it" (Genesis 1:28)

But what about 1 Corinthians 7? Doesn't Paul say that it is better to be single than married? Well, firstly we need to consider the context of the 1 Corinthians. The Corinthian church was in a pagan society similar to contemporary Britain. More importantly though the church was immature and fleshly- "And I brethren, could not speak to you as spiritual men, but as to men of the flesh, as infants in Christ" (1 Corinthians 1:3). There also seems to be a particular problem of sexual immorality with someone taking his father's wife (1 Corinthians 5:1). It's not clear whether he's married her or she's his concubine/girlfriend but it makes little difference. Later in 1 Corinthians 6 Paul states that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and to commit sexual immorality defiles it. (NB you can't use this verse as stick to beat smoking, drinking and any other pleasurable activity that may damage your health for to do so completely ignores the context)

Now to 1 Corinthians 7. Paul does say in verse 7 he wished "that all men even as I myself" i.e. celibate- we don't know whether he was married before he was converted though it matters little. He goes onto to say "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided." (verses 32-34a)

The latter only demonstrates that one's spouse can become essentially an idol which doesn't happen to single people. The most important part however of this passage is the latter part of verse 7: "However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and in another that." What it comes down to is are you gifted for marriage or for celibacy? The criterion is laid out in verse 9: "But if they (the unmarried and widows) do not have self control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." The way Paul puts it may seem pejorative but it is merely a true stark phrase- if you have the desire for sexual union and or the other aspects of married life then marry. The reason, I believe, for this stark language is "in view of the present distress" (verse 26) viz. the rank sexual immorality in the church and their consequent need for self control (edit- I recently heard that the "distress" was either financial or impending major persecution, a la Nero, and the point was how to make decisions given such circumstances. I'd have to do a lot more study to comment further).

Thus the overwhelming evidence from the Bible indicates that in this context most people do not have self control. Lads, have you ever had a persistent problem with porn? Or lust issues in general? Girls, have you the desire to raise a family? Or lust for romantic liaisons? The chances are you're not called to celibacy. This isn't to say however those called to celibacy would not be tempted in theses areas since it would make Hebrews 4:15 redundant: "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathise with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin." Though I'd expect those called to celibacy to have a natural resistance in this area in the same way that some are naturally gifted to teach.