All The Films We've Seen Since Being Married Ranked In Order

	Helen	Swith
1	Toy Story	The Trial
2	Toy Story 3	Toy Story
3	Inception	Toy Story 3
4	Batman Begins	Lawrence of Arabia
5	Up	Barry Lyndon
6	Kind Hearts	Magnolia
7	Moon	Solaris
8	Magnolia	Wild Strawberries
9	Dogville	Moon
10	Pan's Labyrinth	Mulholland Drive
11	Mulholland Drive	The Island
12	Jane Eyre	In Bruges
13	Les Miserables	There Will Be Blood
14	Aladdin	Rashomon
15	The Way Back	Up
16	The Wicker Man	Gran Torino
17	Notes on a Scandal	The Tree of Life
18	Lawrence of Arabia	Batman Begins
19	Black Swan	Kind Hearts
20	The Dark Knight	Pan's Labyrinth
21	Ran	Ran
22	Solaris	Toy Story 2
23	Toy Story 2	The Wicker Man
24	Wild Strawberries	Dogville
25	In Bruges	Inception
26	Metropolis	Falstaff
27	Barry Lyndon	Jane Eyre
28	The Island	Don't Look Now
29	Rashomon	Aladdin
30	The Shining	Black Swan
31	Seven Samurai	Metropolis
32	The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus	Wall-E
33	Don't Look Now	Late Spring
34	Monsters, Inc	The Magician
35	The Machinist	Paths of Glory
36	Big	The Way Back
37	Home Alone	A Prophet
38	Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory	The Shining
39	Wall-E	The Cat Returns
40	Enemy of the State	Les Miserables
41	One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest	Monsters, Inc.
42	The Cat Returns	American Gangster
43	Grave of the Fireflies	Seven Samurai
44	The King's Speech	Seventh Seal
45	LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring	One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
46	Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part II	Big
47	Galaxy Quest	Home Alone
48	The Lion King	Galaxy Quest
49	Hellboy	The Machinist
50	LOTR: The Two Towers	The Dark Knight
51	LOTR: Return of the King	Vertigo
52	The Incredibles	Full Metal Jacket
53	The Magician	2001: A Space Odyssey
54	Minority Report	Battle Royale
55	Edward Scissorhands	Notes on a Scandal
56	Casino Royale	Paris, Texas
57	Knowing	Edward Scissorhands
58	Pirates of the Caribbean	Princess Mononoke
59	Throne of Blood	Grave of the Fireflies
60	Memento	The Dark Knight Rises
61	Vertigo	Four Lions
62	Nausicaa: Valley of the Winds	The Life of Brian
63	10 Things I Hate About You	The Lion King
64	The Omen	The Incredibles
65	The Hunger Games	Casino Royale
66	Star Trek	LOTR: Return of the King
67	Laputa: Castle in the Sky	LOTR: The Two Towers
68	Vanilla Sky	LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring
69	Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1	Pirates of the Caribbean
70	Bride of Frankenstein	10 Things I Hate About You
71	2001: A Space Odyssey	The Return
72	Princess Mononoke	The King's Speech
73	Kiki's Delivery Service	A History of Violence
74	The Tree of Life	The Mirror
75	The Life of Brian	The Godfather
76	Late Spring	LA Confidential
77	My Neighbour Totoro	Total Recall
78	The Time Machine	Laputa: Castle in the Sky
79	Jane Eyre (2011)	You've Been Trumped
80	The Exorcist	Magnificent Ambersons
81	Spartacus	Boogie Nights
82	The Ring (USA)	The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
83	Rosemary's Baby	Winter Light
84	Falstaff	Enemy of the State
85	Brief Encounter	The Thin Red Line
86	There Will Be Blood	Blade Runner
87	Fight Club	Minority Report
88	The Sixth Sense	Kiki's Delivery Service
89	The Others	Throne of Blood
90	Badlands	The Ring (USA)
91	Total Recall	The Exorcist
92	James and the Giant Peach	The Omen
93	Yojimbo	Nausicaa: Valley of the Winds
94	Pirates! An Adventure with Scientists	The Hunger Games
95	A Clockwork Orange	Dr. Strangelove
96	The Social Network	Hellboy
97	Seventh Seal	Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part II
98	The Godfather	Brief Encounter
99	Sunshine	Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
100	The Return	Suspiria
101	Magnificent Ambersons	Yojimbo
102	Elizabeth	James and the Giant Peach
103	Logan's Run	Rosemary's Baby
104	Blade Runner	Spartacus
105	50 First Dates	A Clockwork Orange
106	Cast Away	Sunshine
107	Anastasia	Bride of Frankenstein
108	Boogie Nights	Pirates! An Adventure with Scientists
109	Insomnia	Dogma
110	The Sword in the Stone	Rear Window
111	Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind	Memento
112	The Neverending Story	No Country for Old Men
113	Paris, Texas	The Social Network
114	Despicable Me	Red Desert
115	Dogma	Badlands
116	Alien	Insomnia
117	Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me	Waltz with Bashir
118	The Little Norse Prince	Eyes Wide Shut
119	The Trial	Submarine
120	Source Code	Battleship Potemkin
121	Monster	Hard Eight
122	The Fly	Fight Club
123	Transformers: The Movie	Through a Glass Darkly
124	21 Grams	Alien
125	Hard Eight	Despicable Me
126	Crimes and Misdemeanors	Autumn Sonata
127	Synecdoche, New York	Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
128	The Straight Story	Crimes and Misdemeanors
129	Wrath of Khan	Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
130	Act of Valor	The Long Day Closes
131	If…	The Others
132	X-Men: First Class	Vanilla Sky
133	Airplane	The Sixth Sense
134	Napoleon Dynamite	Unforgiven
135		Cast Away
136		The Straight Story
137		Transformers: The Movie
138		The Sword in the Stone
139		La Regle du Jeu
140		The Fly
141		The Godfather II
142		The Bird with the Crystal Plummage
143		Cries and Whispers
144		Monty Python: The Meaning of Life
145		A Matter of Life of Death
146		Airplane
147		Jackie Brown
148		If…
149		La Quatro Volte
150		Synecdoche, New York
151		Monster
152		X-Men: First Class
153		Wrath of Khan
154		The Neverending Story
155		Act of Valor
156		Source Code
157		21 Grams
158		The Silence

Worst 20 Films Since Being Married

Following our Top 20 films since being married (for three years) here is our much more controversial bottom 20.

NB. Very mild plot spoiler warning.

No. 20  

• Helen - Dogma (Cert. 18) 6/10: Trying to be funny and quirky but failing at times. The plot wasn't that interesting and I fell asleep before the end.
• Swith - La Regle du Jeu 5/10: An un-engaging farce with too many characters and predictable plot about infidelity.

No. 19

• Helen - Alien 5/10: Setting and alien looked good, but the plot was terrible.
• Swith - The Fly 5/10: Overacted yet woodenly acted, contrived plot and very squidgy. The dissolve in the first scene was the best part of the film.

No. 18

• Helen - Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (Cert.18) 5/10: Disappointingly dull. Laura Palmer seems out of character, wandering around aimlessly for most of the film and it doesn't seem to go anywhere. The usual quirky characters weren't present. The dream sequences didn't help redeem it enough and the beginning of the film was especially long and seemed pointless.
• Swith - The Godfather Part II 5/10: The father son contrast simply doesn't work. Un-engaging from the outset with a sprawling and unfocused narrative. Way too long. Cinematography average.

No. 17

• Helen - The Little Norse Prince 5/10: Cute in places, but there wasn't much of a plot and it was quite slow moving.
• Swith - The Bird with the Crystal Plumage 5/10: A standard thriller with no characters nor substance of note.

No. 16

• Helen - The Trial (Cert. PG) 5/10: Intriguing at the start, but gets weird, random and hard to follow later on. Not much of a plot, more a philosophical point. Liked the opening animation. Didn't find any of the characters likeable.
• Swith - Cries and Whispers 5/10: A film about the lack of communication failed to communicate in terms of story and character. Acting was good though and Sven Nykvist's cinematography was excellent.

No. 15

• Helen - Source Code (Cert. 12) 5/10: Looked promising at the start, but dull after that, as it didn't matter what happened to him. Characters were bad and there was a disappointing saccharin ending. The bad guy was terrible and not convincing.
• Swith - Monty Python and the Meaning of Life (Cert. 15) 5/10: Occasionally amusing absurdist series of sketches on the meaning of life. No narrative of which to speak and many sketches are too long and try too hard.

No. 14

• Helen -Monster 5/10: Boring and didn't like the characters.
• Swith - A Matter of Life and Death 5/10: Interesting premise but went nowhere, pointed to nothing and was awfully predictable.

No. 13

• Helen -The Fly 5/10: Far too unsubtle about everything. Grotesque costume was pretty good though.
• Swith - Airplane 5/10: Not as funny as it thought it was.

No. 12

• Helen -Transformers: The Movie 5/10: Not a very good plot, but some of the transformations were cool.
• Swith - Jackie Brown 5/10: Too long, un-funny and shallow crime drama.

No. 11

• Helen -21 Grams 5/10: Boring. Firstly, you had to figure out who everyone was, then nothing interesting happened.
• Swith - If... 5/10: Saw what they were trying to do with authority vs rebellion but had too many characters and was rather slow and un-engaging.

No. 10

• Helen -Hard Eight 5/10: Beginning looked interesting, then it was just dull. Didn't care about the characters.
• Swith - La Quattro Volte (Cert. U) 5/10: The four lives of an old man, a goat, a tree and dust. Essentially the circle of life without plot, characters and literally no music. Some good technique in parts showing with the man and below from the goat. Pretentious but not as annoying as it could have been.

No. 9

• Helen - Crimes and Misdemeanours (Cert. 15) 5/10: Dull, and hardly anything happened. Didn't particularly like any of the characters and didn't care what they did.
• Swith - Synecdoche, New York 5/10: Occasionally amusing but subtext is a poor plot. Deliberately quirky in parts which had an uneven effect. Far, far too long. Watch Persona or Mulholland Drive instead.

No. 8

• Helen - Synecdoche, New York 5/10: Too long and depressing. Didn't really like any of the characters.
• Swith - Monster 5/10: Shallow, incoherent and dull.

No.7

• Helen - The Straight Story 5/10: Slow and dull (fell asleep). The guy on the lawnmower seemed interesting at first.
• Swith - X-Men: First Class 4/10: Too many characters, too little plot, clichéd and boring from start to finish. X-Men: Third Class.

No. 6

• Helen - Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan 5/10: Extended dull Star Trek episode.
• Swith - Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan 4/10: Extended dull Star Trek episode with some seriously bad dialogue and characterisation.

No. 5

• Helen - Act of Valor (Cert. 15) 5/10: Really dull war movie. Predictable and I felt nothing for the characters, as all that seemed to happen was running around and shooting.
• Swith - The Neverending Story 4/10: Humanist saccharine, plot-less, no-D characters. The music is reasonable in parts.

No.4

• Helen - If... 5/10: Not that interesting, could've told the story in half the time.
• Swith - Act of Valor (Cert. 15) 4/10: Seriously dull American propaganda film. No characters or plot, some nice edits though.

No. 3

• Helen - X-Men: First Class 4/10: Barely any plot, cheesy and clichéd. Too long and too many characters plus they were bad characters.
• Swith - Source Code (Cert. 12) 4/10: Putrid. No tension, no characters, no plot and no ideas. American ruling class propaganda against the "new threat"- "the right-wing WASP". Saccharin ending and "emotive" music.

No. 2 

• Helen - Airplane 4/10: Not funny, tried too hard.
• Swith - 21 Grams 4/10: Worthy, pretentious, irritating music, unengaging, poor characters, dire dialogue in parts and boring.

No.1

• Helen - Napoleon Dynamite 4/10: Funny in places, but thinks it's funnier than it is.
• Swith - The Silence 4/10: One note plod about the silence of God, the meaninglessness of life and the inability of communication. Needs to find a plot and some characters.

Honourable Mentions: Films We Didn't Finish

Pather Panchali

• Helen - Very boring, nothing happened. Characters were dull; didn't finish (1st hour only).
• Swith - Plotless, witless and dull. Also the mother character was immensely irritating.

Carousel

• Helen - Despite one good sequence, it was clichéd, dull and slow. Stopped watching an hour in.

Good Morning (An Ozu Film)

• Both - Didn't finish - nothing happened.

Only Yesterday

• Both - Didn't finish - Anime, nothing happened.

Stay alert in the next few days for the fully ordered list of all of the films we have seen since being married.

Top 20 Films Since Being Marrried

On the 12th June Helen and I celebrated our third Wedding Anniversary. Just after being married I began a rating regime- soon after watching a film (this then was later extended to TV series, restaurants, beer and cider) we would review it out of ten in our Film Ratings book. Then, with film only, we would rank the films in order with the score out of ten marking the boundaries in which they can be placed; after a film has been ranked it cannot be moved unless it is seen again or pushed up/down by a different film. This system has its limitations though: looking at the whole list there are films I would now move however it was designed with this type of inflexibility in mind. The spark for this idea came a few months after we watched Darren Aronofsky's Pi. At the time Helen seemed to really enjoy it but a few months later she remembered disliking it. Hence the rating and ranking scale was born.

So here comes the Top 20 with original short reviews attached (they typically become more insightful the more recently we watched them), plus our own version of the BBFC's certification scale but this was very much a recent addition so won't accompany many of the films.

NB - Very mild plot spoiler warning

No. 20

• Helen- The Dark Knight (Cert. 15) 7/10:  Intense and terrifying. The Joker is scary and unpredictable. I felt the film however was too long and could have done with some editing , plus there were a few minor plot holes. Some of the action sequences looked good and Batman had some cool gadgets.

• Swith - Pan's Labyrinth 8/10: Too predictable but well shot and acted with some interesting neo-Gnostic concepts.

No. 19

• Helen - Black Swan 7/10: Excellent leading lady, gory and scary in places. 
• Swith - Kind Hearts and Coronets 8/10: Slow start but picked up, good ending, funny.

No. 18

• Helen - Lawrence of Arabia 7/10: Slow but engrossing
• Swith - Batman Begins (Cert. 12) 8/10:  An exciting story with a strong theme although the latter is heavy handed in places. Batman's character is well drawn with extremely likeable characters played by Freeman and Caine. Surprisingly amusing throughout. Could have been trimmed somewhat.

No. 17

• Helen - Notes on a Scandal 8/10: Interesting and built up well. Judi Dench acted well.
• Swith - The Tree of Life 8/10: Interesting and visually stunning non-linear story about evolution, death and faith. Clearly way too long in parts though the family scenes and child acting were excellent. The music was great too. A shame the earnest voice-overs and somewhat pat-pantheism spoil the film.

No. 16

• Helen - The Wicker Man 8/10: Great mystery revealed step by step.
• Swith - Gran Torino (Cert. 15) 8/10: A very funny but sober tale of immigration, modern manhood and growing up. Possibly a little slow in places and some of the characters a little cliched but ultimately very rewarding. Eastwood's grumpy old man is very charismatic. 

No. 15

• Helen - The Way Back  (Cert. 12) 8/10: An interesting film about journeying across countries. Great variety of back drops. Some good characters and funny in places.
• Swith - Up (Cert. U) 8/10: A surprisingly profound tale of family and adventure. Excellent beginning but loses momentum in parts. Clever design but the music is just above average. 

No. 14

• Helen - Aladdin 8/10: Entertaining, nice story and good music.
• Swith - Rashomon 8/10: Great exposition of human nature and the nature of truth especially in the judicial context.

No. 13

• Helen - Les Miserables (Cert. 12) 8/10: Excellent music. Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway were excellent at acting whilst singing their parts. It was however a little one dimensional and could've been more cinematic. Brought back good memories of singing in a choir at school.
• Swith - There Will Be Blood (Cert. 15) 8/10: Excellent dialogue free opening. An enigmatic contrast of a charismatic preacher and primarily an oil tycoon who will do anything to get to the top. Beautifully shot and had well crafted sequences. Also all the violence was painful. Music was intense but somewhat one note which could also be levelled at the theme. Narratively, loses its way in the third act.

No. 12 

• Helen - Jane Eyre (1943) 8/10: Very good story and pace. Liked the characters. A tad predictable.
• Swith - In Bruges 8/10: Funny black comedy with very believable characters and redemptive themes (also rather gory in places)

No. 11

• Helen - Mulholland Drive 8/10: Bizarre, but very interesting - takes a while to figure out (watch again)
• Swith - The Island 8/10: The bleak landscape is beautifully shot but is given warmth by the fire and humour. Richly textured, disturbing in parts but ultimately redemptive.

No. 10

• Helen - Pan's Labyrinth 8/10: Full of suspense, fairy tale.
• Swith - Mulholland Drive 8/10: Oblique deconstruction of the nature of acting, narcissism and Hollywood. Great visuals and scene composition.

No. 9

• Helen - Dogville (Cert. 15) 8/10: Unpredictable. Seemed a little dull at first, but then became engrossing. The ending was also surprising and interesting.
• Swith - Moon 8/10: Sam Rockwell gives a great performance and this is an intriguing film. Interesting take on what it is to be human.

No. 8

• Helen - Magnolia 8/10: Great film, imaginative, interesting and moves quickly. Positive outlook on confession and forgiveness.
• Swith - Wild Strawberries 8/10: Multi-layered portrayal of a man's life, great dream sequences, standard Bergman existentialism. 

No. 7

• Helen - Moon 8/10: Sam Rockwell gives a great performance and this is an intriguing film.
• Swith - Solaris 8/10:  Unnerving in parts and unpredictable. An interesting study of guilt and repentance. Great sci-fi and intriguing ending. Too slow in parts but good visuals. 

No. 6

• Helen - Kind Hearts and Coronets 8/10: Funny and entertaining, good ending.
• Swith - Magnolia 9/10: Operatic, cinematic take on truth and deceit.

No. 5

• Helen - Up 8/10: Cute adventure story that is tear-inducing in places. Funny, but some of the humour is lost on a second viewing.
• Swith - Barry Lyndon 9/10: Great visuals, music and stately but unpredictable and interesting. Stylishly directed but maybe slightly coldly.

No.4

• Helen - Batman Begins (Cert. 12) 8/10: Interesting and exciting. Nice to see how Batman develops as a character. Plot though is over dramatic and unrealistic at times. Batman, Lucien Fox and Alfred are likeable.
• Swith - Lawrence of Arabia (Cert. PG) 9/10: Before the intermission it is incredible: beautiful images of the desert, a sweeping journey of one man searching for meaning with a glorious soundtrack; it was also surprisingly amusing throughout. Excellently drawn supporting cast flanking the mesmerising O'Toole. After the intermission though Lawrence's fall is too quick and loses narrative cohesion.

No.3

• Helen - Inception 8/10: Excellent action and intensity; as good as last time - worth the rewatch.
• Swith - Toy Story 3 9/10: A great finish to a great trilogy. Not as efficient as the original and has an irritating plot contrivance: Mrs Potato Head's eye. Nice anti-communist film too plus a film about moving on.

No. 2

• Helen - Toy Story 3 9/10: Didn't like it quite as much as last time, however, still an excellent story, funny in places with interesting characters. Great music once again.
• Swith - Toy Story 9/10: Snappy plot and dialogue. Great characters and music. Very funny but also has great depth: realising that you were made for someone and that is where you find your true happiness. Lacks only visual flair.

No. 1

• Helen - Toy Story 10/10: Snappy plot and dialogue. Great characters and music.
• Swith - The Trial (Cert. PG) 10/10: Absolutely brilliant. Excellently shot, acted, edited and scored. A great exposé of the corruption of government and the place of sex in a meaningless universe.

Stay alert in the next few days for our worst 20 films.